Learning to Look Again
The Parable of the Snake on the Road
Learning to Look Again
The Story of the Snake in the Road
A well-known Buddhist parable is the story of the Snake in the Road. A monk walking along a road sees what appears to be a snake and jumps back in fear. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was a long rope, illustrating how our fears often stem from past fears, and can become less threatening when we examine them closely, allowing us to face them calmly.
Getting to that state of calmness is critical in managing our fears. In the face of threat, our brains undergo a series of processes attempting to get us back to a state of equilibrium. An ever-vigilant amygdala reacts emotionally to the threat lodged in our thoughts and senses. This small part of the brain controls fear. It processes what you see, hear, touch, and smell, and uses that information to alert us to perceived danger. The amygdala makes a kind of “ recording” of the incidence and “stores” it for future use in similar circumstances. Fear is learned behavior. For example, we know that the monk was afraid of snakes.
I’m going to state the obvious. There’s a tsunami of fear flowing through the US. The intensity of the feeling hit me one day recently, and I began to feel suddenly vulnerable and defenseless. I had fallen into the waters of fear.
As I became aware of the darkness of my thoughts, I received a phone call from a friend who invited me to participate with her in meditating and praying for a woman with stage 4 cancer. I came out of my self-directed funk and began focusing on the woman and her journey, which I know very well.
After I meditated, breathing deeply and reaching a level of peace, I went to bed and slept longer than usual. Gratitude for life and compassion for the woman shifted my attention from a small view of universal spirit to a broader perspective.
At the same time, I began to investigate the source of my fears. The fear response is often a trigger, a reminder of a past experience or threat. At the same time, we become afraid of the future. Only the present moment brings true freedom; we are neither pushed into the past or the future. Removing fear from our minds is not easy, but I have learned that love and gratitude for all that is good can be helpful.
Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” What is the origin of that fear?
What can I learn from it?
Since the amygdala is “wired” to sense a threat, it prepares us for fight or flight. More recently, we have learned that we also freeze or fade; shock makes us think we have no agency, so we freeze. And, without a sense of agency or power, we may respond with a sense of invisibility or helplessness.
Stress hormones are released on the advice of the triggered amygdala and the sympathetic nervous system spring into action. If we stay on high alert, the body gets overloaded like too many plugs in an outlet. We must learn to unplug, allowing the parasympathetic nervous system to get us back to a place of peacefulness.
Here are a few suggestions for self-compassion during troubling times:
1. Breathe deeply. Use the 4-7-8 technique, 4 breaths in, hold for 7 seconds, and breathe out to the count of 8, or 3-3-3 breathing - take 3 deep breaths, name 3 things you can see, and name 3 things you can hear and then take another deep breath.
Rely on your community of faith. A sense of community strengthens faith in a universe larger than oneself. Humility can bring calm.
Go for a walk. Walking releases endorphins that stimulate relaxation.
Seek opportunities to be kind. Kindness promotes positive emotions, boosts self-esteem, and triggers the release of oxytocin and serotonin in the brain. Kindness shifts the focus to positive interactions.
.Pay attention to small wonders. Noticing frolicking birds, a vigilant hawk, a flower bursting through concrete, or a brilliant orange sunset are breakthroughs from anxiety.
Meet with supportive friends. Provides a sense of connection, which is critical to have a sense of belonging, emotional support, and a distraction from worries.
Turn off media. The algorithms are not your friends.
Volunteer. Compassion for others shifts the focus away from yourself.
Listen to music. It activates the brain’s pleasure centers, releasing dopamine and other feel-good chemicals that decrease cortisol.
Cuddle with a pet. Spark your inherent desire to care and receive the exchange of love.
Eat healthy, flavorful meals. Foods for nutrition rather than comfort can strengthen you.
Keep your friends and family close to you but welcome the stranger. Love one another.
By carefully observing the situation and becoming curious, we can find clarity and regain our sense of agency. We can reframe the fear if we approach a threat with awareness and open-heartedness (courage). With fear put in its place, actions can resume without the burden of the past. We’re then prepared to face the differences new threats bring, without making assumptions that lead us down a path full of “snakes.” We must practice mental resilience and fierce compassion. We must learn to “look again.”
Peace and blessings,
Eleanor
