Difference is Good
Different is good, but the reason might surprise you.
Difference produces a dopamine hit; not a pump of pleasure, but an alert signal in the brain. How we manage our response impacts our values and sense of safety.
When we see or feel different, we are at a crossroads. The brain’s neural pathway can either confirm our biases or open our minds to possibilities we have never imagined. Difference offers extraordinary insights if we use dopamine and the brain’s prefrontal cortex to discover its value.
Mystics often say that the Infinite hides itself in forms.
Could it be that the difference is our Face beneath our many masks? We might say that we are more alike than different or that who we are has many facets like a beautiful diamond that has sustained the friction of life but has been polished by the bruises. Our bruises bring us many faces; many aspects of difference.
Sufis say: The Beloved never repeats a face.
A poignant story captures this. A beggar appeared at the door of a wealthy businessman and pleaded for a bowl of food. The man of the house refused him. Then, a woman appeared at the same door and asked to be respected with untattered clothing since her clothes were torn, but the man refused. Soon, a little boy knocked on the door and asked the man for shelter because he was ill; his father could not pay his medical bills, so he was kicked out of his home. The man hesitated, but did not trust the child’s story and refused to help him.
As time went on, the man’s business failed, he almost lost his home, his clothing became tattered, and his health began to decline. He cried out to God, “Please help me; I don’t know anyone to turn to!”
A voice almost without sound but strong enough to open the man’s heart said, “Three times I came to your door, and you refused me. I am the hungry, the unclothed, and the sick. I am always present if your heart is open.
When we encounter others, we meet the essence of ourselves, buried and disguised within our consciousness.
Difference is the universe revealing another facet of itself.
We may feel unsettled by differences that appear in our lives, but they are gifts to open and discover new directions and opportunities. The gifts are without value unless we are aware of them. Difference requires an honest evaluation of ourselves and what life means to us.
Difference is a Cracked Cup
In Zen and mystical Christianity, difference symbolizes the imperfection that opens perception. Sameness is the smooth glaze of habit, while difference is the hairline crack through which light can pass.
It is an unexpected doorway; when something doesn’t fit the expected and produces cognitive and emotional dissonance, we see the patterns of existence. If we want to flow with life, we can welcome difference as the light of truth.
Difference is the Sacred Tension That Makes Creation Possible
The union of opposites displays the unity in diversity. As long as there is division or dual aspects, creativity may be placed on hold, reluctant or unable to unfold. In unity, we perceive:
light and dark
form and emptiness
motion and stillness
self and other
Difference is not a mistake; it is the first gesture of creation. And, sensing unity is like noticing the breath between God inhaling and God exhaling.
Difference is the Mirror in which we see ourselves
We know ourselves through others. We seek relationships to become familiar with who we really are. The mirror is an inaccurate reflection, pandering to our thoughts about who we are. How we respond to others, choose our friends, or reject others, defines our self-perception. We may say, “That’s not me,” but is that true?
Difference also points to unhealed places, especially when we interact with those who trigger our unresolved pain. But difference also reflects our unacknowledged strengths. Who could discover our blind spots except someone different from us? Difference reveals the contours of the self we didn’t know we were clinging to.
Buddhism says: “The other is the most profound mirror.”
Difference symbolizes this liminal threshold: The space between now and then.
Difference pricks at the ego, invites the ego to loosen its grip, and welcomes difference as revelation. The space of egolessness is where we can be open to Spirit and release the weight of judgments. If we can linger in this space, we can deepen our experience of the divine truth.
Difference is the Sacred Game of Hide-and-Seek
Difference hides the truth of our existence, while unity is the discovery of wholeness. The play of difference creates stories, all of which are fantasies, because Spirit is indivisible and eternal. We can come out of hiding and embrace one another as truth-seekers.
Difference is the Music Between Notes
Difference is what gives rise to harmony, since harmony is the synchrony of more than one note into one sound. Music exists because notes differ.
If every note were the same, there would be no melody. Mystics say the same of creation: difference is the interval that makes the song of the world possible.
Difference is how the world speaks in multiple dialects of the same truth, as if life were a symphony. It is the language of Love.
Peace and Blessings,
Ndidi
