At Peace With Yourself
PEACE WITH YOURSELF
Affirmations can be powerful engines that drive us through the rough patches of the day. I start every morning with affirmations that have become a routine part of my life, filled with challenges and joys. Affirmations flow from my lips as I anticipate my daily duties and responsibilities, guiding me like a compass through a forest of demands. With these affirmations in mind, I feel ready for the inevitable demands and opportunities that arise throughout the day.
GRATITUDE
I begin with gratitude. “I am grateful for the day” is both a celebration of being alive and an acknowledgment of Grace. As I grow older, as we all do, I feel compelled to appreciate each day. How curious it is that we need to see the end of a long road to fully recognize how far we have traveled.
IMPERMENANCE
My email signature includes the expression, “Live life fully because everything changes.”
I am aware that I will not live forever, so my second affirmation is, “I embrace life as temporary, impermanent.” That affirmation fuels my desire to begin the day. The issue with our life plans is that we often think we have more time. Emily Dickinson said centuries ago, “Forever is composed of nows.” So, we must Carpe Diem, seize the day, and make it count for a fulfilling life.
SELF-COMPASSION AND COMPASSION FOR OTHERS
There are meetings, calls, and projects, along with walks, cooking, and conversations. While these duties may seem ordinary, they are often interrupted by unexpected strains on my schedule or a call from a friend that I want to take. However, if I do answer, my entire day could become more intense. Boundary management helps me focus on what I need to attend to while allowing space for others.
I've found the balance necessary between compassion for others and self-compassion. I truly enjoy being there for others, and I realize that the quality of my relationships and engagement depends on how I treat myself. I must remind myself that I am the central figure in my actions toward both myself and others. Thus, one of my affirmations is “I am committed to self-compassion and compassion for others.” My affirmations carry within them a promise to myself to uphold my values. Self-compassion has not always been popular. It has often been mistaken for self-indulgence, self-love, as in narcissism, or extreme self-care. Yet, self-compassion is a healthy practice that positively impacts brain health and a sense of well-being.
When I feel whole, I show myself respect. Wholeness brings self-acceptance and satisfaction with being and becoming. There is a wise teaching that if you polish a tile for many days, you may think it has become a mirror. What you see is still only a reflection of yourself. The tile will always be a tile. And you will always be you. Even if someone tries to chip away at my sense of wholeness, I remain the ultimate arbiter, and the decision to be whole is entirely mine. Wholeness is a sense of completeness, peace and well-being. As Maya Angelou said, “ No one can make you feel inferior [broken] unless you let them.” Harmonious well-being is a state of wholeness, encompassing a sense of physical , mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being. The illusion of perfection, which does not exist in the universe, is not a prerequisite for wholeness. Feeling whole, I become more likely to practice lovingkindness.
WISDOM
“I walk the path of wisdom,” is my strong commitment to being kind. Everyone has a story they may be reluctant to share. When we interact, I want to add to their day’s joyful energy, not take away from it. I do not want to make someone’s story worse than it already is for them. I do not want to disturb another person’s peace of mind. I must remember they are someone’s mother, sister, father, brother, daughter, or son. I want to be a light in a person’s darkness, not a shadow. All of these interpersonal desires require discernment and peace of mind. I cannot look at the lives of others through broken glass and claim I am seeing them clearly.
To walk the path of kindness and wisdom, I must listen deeply and without judgment. If I slip into judgment, as we all do, I need to pull myself back from that edge of negativity. I must practice the art of description in my speaking and interactions, so I can report what I sense, hear, see, and feel, and refrain from adding judgments. I must question myself, examining my feelings that filter out truth as it presents itself to me. I must refrain from being self-critical and engage in self-talk to stay open to change.
A common Buddhist story involves a meeting between Bodhidharma and Huike. Huike is troubled by a restless mind and seeks Bodhidharma’s help. Bodhidharma responded, “Bring me your mind and I will pacify it.” When Huike could not locate his mind, Bodhidharma declared, “There, I have already pacified your mind.” The source of much of our sense of turmoil lies in our perceptions of reality or in grasping for something. When we can accept the present moment, we can find peace. This action is not passive or an avoidance of reality. It is about staying present with what is happening right now and letting go of fears for the future, grasping for more of something, wanting the past to be different, or believing that then or there is better than here right now.
AT PEACE WITH MYSELF
“I am at peace with myself.” That’s the last affirmation. I have noticed that every morning, I hesitate slightly before uttering this affirmation. In the pause before I speak, I ask myself a question: Is it true? Am I really at peace with myself? What do I need to pay attention to that causes this hesitation? I take two or three deep breaths and return to my center. Whatever is unsettling can be monitored, managed, or mastered. I must search my mind for the answers. The longer the hesitation lasts, the longer I need to meditate. During meditation, the calmness that accompanies peace of mind settles into my morning hours.
I give myself this prescription each morning. It invites me to be fully present for life throughout the day.
Peace and blessings,
Eleanor
