Are We There Yet?
The trip sounded like a good idea, for a lovely setting in the mountains, a beautiful lake, and plenty of activities to keep the children occupied. Days before the planned departure, the parents were scurrying around from store to store and drawer to drawer, accumulating everything necessary for an enjoyable trip.
The day of departure arrived, and all luggage, adults, and children, piled into the vehicle for the longer-than-usual trip. To keep the children occupied, a movie screen in the back seat is waiting to entertain them until their eyes grow heavy from the quiet hum of the car’s engine. Books and games are also placed onto the back seat to devour the time that the adults agree will test their patience. Before an hour passed, one child began to lead a chorus of complaints. “I’m tired of this movie,” “She took my toy and won’t give it back!”,” I’m bored.” On cue, another child followed with his own whining concerns, “I wanna’ go back home,” and “Are we there yet?”
Life is an uncertain ride with an uncertain destination. We start out on this journey, seeking pleasure and trusting the “big people” to give us what we desire. As time passes, we learn we must make our needs known loudly to get a satisfying response. Shockingly, we discover that sometimes people yield to our demands, and at other times, we are rejected. Life becomes a rough ride of pleasure and pain, and even at a young age, the seeds of desire for freedom are planted.
We can’t get out of the moving car; that would be deadly, but we don’t like being confined by the direction others have chosen. Or, we want to be in control of the car, to be able to choose our destination, even if getting there will be difficult.
As we grow, we want the option to choose how we will make our dreams happen. We know life is unpredictable, but we hope to be free to strive for success, experience a love of learning through education, and have appropriate shelter and resources, even though we might encounter off roads of difficulties or losses along the way. We want life to offer an expanse of freedom without artificial boundaries that impose constraints based on our identity, appearance, or ability to earn a living. Others on the ride seem to want similar experiences, so we become confident that everyone desires to be free and happy.
If we have the privilege of learning about the history of our country, we might get excited when we know what a few landowning men in 1776 proposed. They wrote, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness – That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed -That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”
As a country, we are still on the journey from a Declaration of our direction to fulfilling our promise of equality and the unencumbered pursuit of Life, Liberty, and Happiness.
The announcement was made: life would bring us Safety and Happiness. But the truth is Life is full of unpleasantness. The ride is rough, and the destination is uncertain, but life is also an opportunity every day to open our hearts to others and practice self-compassion. The ride is determined by our understanding of the temporary nature of life, and real freedom is knowing who we are and loving every moment we are alive. Real freedom is expanding our hearts to include others who are different from us, a positive mindset, and deep gratitude for all that life brings. Real freedom is recognizing our interconnection with one another, not fighting over toys, but sharing and supporting one another to be happy, safe, and free from harm.
Lovingkindness awakens in us the love that can fuel our travel through life. We become aware of how resilient we are as we ride through life, propelling us toward freedom for ourselves and others. We make wise choices in the spirit of peace for all sentient beings and make our ride a journey with purpose.
Freedom is the power to act on our own behalf but also on behalf of others who cannot do so for themselves. Giving up silence when others have lost their voice is asserting our freedom. Embracing the temporary nature of life, we can appreciate that where we are now is not where we will be because the ride changes with each new twist or turn. Our best hope is to have a long ride. Freedom means not giving up when we stumble but instead practicing self-compassion. Freedom is breaking through constraints with creativity and inspired actions and believing that our valuable lives will produce a legacy of kindness and joy. Sometimes, that means allowing others to drive if you’re going in the same direction. Like clearings in the forest or views from the mountain tops, the ride means taking us to new places for the glorious, remarkable experience of living. Freedom also means knowing that one part of the journey is not the entire trip. Along the way, our patience and trust in the route can keep us focused on the joy that is present now.
Are we there yet? is a strange question on the road of life. In the present moment, we are exactly where we need to be, even when it’s uncomfortable or unclear. Contrasts and challenges in life are not just part of the ride, they are our teachers and guides on the journey, carving and smoothing our experiences into a life that both surprises and affirms our personhood. The stops and starts are signs that safeguard us from the negative traffic in our minds and the destructive intersections in life.
We are free when we free our minds and open our hearts.
Peace and blessings on this Independence Day and weekend,
Eleanor
A Question That Matters:
What gives you a sense of freedom?